Dear Jane,

A mutual friend of ours asked me if I would make an effort to be your friend again a couple of weeks ago and I have been seriously thinking about it. You know me and how I want so badly for human beings to get along, to be able to learn to compromise and understand each other. I set about reaching out to folks in my life and on line. I started going to conservative sites to try to learn what I was missing, is there common ground? There has to be, after all we humans have the same needs, don’t we? I read comments from people on news items and tried to see if I could understand why. WHY would any human, let alone a woman vote for #45? No matter how hard I try I, personally, cannot understand why a woman can vote for a man who is publically on record that his fame and wealth afford him the right to grab any woman’s pussy. Funny how he has made pussy a household word, isn’t it? That a president made it ok to discuss grabbing women’s pussies.... kind of boggles my mind. I found out there are 3 categories of women, those who:

• Find this abhorrent.
• Don’t believe he actually said, you now, that ‘Fake News’ thing.
• Think it’s just something, ‘all men do’, locker room talk.

I guess you must fall into the last 2 categories and you may tell me that I have no right to put you into a category and I agree it isn’t right to put people into categories. I am really conflicted about how our friendship has come to the place it is. I thought you were a gentle caring person. We have known each other since we were 13 and 14 and all these years I thought you were an open and accepting person, accepting of people from all walks of life. BUT because you support a man who puts Blacks, Latinos (murderers), Gays, and Women (she’s a 10 or a 5) into categories it must follow that privately you also put people into categories. How else can you justify your support of a Muslim ban? (Safety and security? Yet, facts show that most criminals are American born. Do you realize that some of these refugees risked their lives to give information to our soldiers and were promised safe passage to our country?)

I have been told that Trans is choice by many 45 supporters. That they should go to the bathroom of the gender on their birth certificate. Is this ok with you? I have to assume it is because you posted it on your wall. And when you say the insults you do about immigrants? How can you? You and I were a group of immigrant kids at school, remember? Or has it been too long for you to remember how the kids asked ridiculous questions about our home country, ‘is there electricity in your country?’ How they made fun of how we talked? But you say, “We did it properly.” What an arrogant thing to say! Why are you supporting programs that separate adults from children when they are trying to enter the country illegally at the southern border?

And this? This administration voted to allow severely mentally ill people to buy guns! Why would you find this acceptable? I don’t understand you. You are not the person I thought you were and I feel that I was deceived. Have you always been unconcerned about your friends, your neighbors or co-workers? Did I just not see that part of you?

Can I ask you why you are ok with people drinking polluted water? Because 45 “signed legislation that nullified a recent regulation prohibiting surface-mining operations from dumping waste in nearby waterways, said he was eager to support coal miners who had backed his presidential bid. “The miners are a big deal,” he said Thursday. “I’ve had support from some of these folks right from the very beginning, and I won’t forget it.” Hey, Jane, I get it, I do, we all want people to have jobs. But if the water they drink when they come home from work makes them sick, is the job worth it? Speaking of jobs, I declined to discuss your comment about how you are “tired of moochers living off the system” and that you “worked hard for everything you have and you don’t have sympathy for lazy people”. (There’s that putting people into categories again). Do you believe that all people who receive government assitance are lazy and won’t take responsibilities for themselves? Well, let me tell you about a friend we have in common. He’s too embarrassed to tell you but he didn’t retire willingly and he doesn’t really like his part time job at Subway. What really happened is that his job was exported to India and his pension that he planned to live on was reduced because he was not allowed to work the full 20 years, he was laid off at 19 years and now has a reduced pension. Did you know our friend NEVER missed a day of work? He has heard your view of those who receive assistance and he’s ashamed to admit to you that he receives food stamps to supplement his food bill. “In the U.S., over 4.8 million low-income adults over age 60 rely on SNAP to stay healthy and make ends meet. On average, they receive $108 per month to help put food on the table.” Do you have any idea how hurt he was when you made your wise-ass comment about moochers who buy lobster with food stamps?

I have a family member who is gay, one who couldn’t afford health care without the ACA, three who have pre-existing conditions, two who work in industries that are dangerous and need the government safety regulations to keep them safe, and four who are immigrants. Guess what? You also know them but they are ashamed to tell you this about themselves because of things you have said.

You may have figured out by now that I’m not ready to be friends again, not until you explain to me how you can allow our government to deny these people are fair chance in life. Oh, I forgot, ‘fair’ is a place they have rides and sell cotton candy. (That’s a quote from you.) I can’t sit across a table from you, smile and pass you the bread dish because in my heart I would feel shallow, because by pretending to be okay with your support of 45 and an administration that is taking away the right to health care, to safe drinking water, to entering a bathroom they feel comfortable in, to a decent job, to the social security they paid into their entire working lives, I am giving you the message that I condone your decision to deny these things to our fellow friends and to our fellow citizens. I have seen your true self and I am sad.

This is NOT like when you voted for both Bushes, or McCain or Romney. We could joke about that- they were sane, reasonable candidates but 45 is a 'born into wealth', self-admitted sexual predator who is on record for cheating and lying and yes, “he’s doing what he said he would" and I am heartbroken that you think that’s a good thing. As I write this your party has just told the American public that 20 million will no longer be able to have health care, that they are going to have to ‘choose between a cell phone and health care’ while giving health insurance executives who earn more than $500,000 per year a tax break.  This, despite the fact that the AMA (actual letter from the AMA here.) and AARP  have voiced their disapproval of the new GOP health care plan. But I guess they just should have planned for their future better, like you did, because you have always made the right decisions, Right? (Don’t forget we have known each other for a very long time and you and I both know you have not always made the best decisions).

No, and it hurts me to say this but I’m not ready to be friends again. I will take the advice you offered on your own Face Book wall.

To get into the mind of a Trump supporter seems like an impossible task at first. However, like their values and sentence structure, it is quite simple. After speaking with over 70 Trump supporters, they are not as excited for Trump as they are filled with hatred for Clinton. I have heard Trump fans call Hillary names, regurgitate falsehoods, and simply make up stuff on the spot about her. But why? Is it as simple as being sexist? I do not think it is just that. I feel that just saying these people are sexist is like picking a leaf from a rose bush and calling it a bouquet. There are many reasons why they dislike Hillary and it has very little to do with who she actually is or what she stands for as a political figure.

People like to say they do not like the policies of a person they are not going to vote for; however when pressed, they generally cannot think of any policies. For instance, when Obama was elected I had to hear (for almost eight damn years now) about how horrible the world will be, how horrible America has become with him in office, how he is a Muslim, how he is not even from America, etc... Anytime I heard someone complain about Obama, I asked them this question: “Why do you not like him, exactly?” Most of the time I was met with, “I do not hate him, I hate his policies.” And my follow up was always, “What policies?” Only ONE out of countless people in my red home-state of Missouri knew of a policy of Obama’s. How ridiculous is that? The media, friends, family, and of course the church has influenced not just the values, ethics, morals, and belief systems, but the ability to be an independent, logical thinker.

They say they love Trump because he just says whatever he wants to say. They love him because he is going to “Make America Great Again.” They love him because he is going to have “the best immigration policies” and “the best foreign policies” ever. Although Trump has pretty much only stated that his policies involve a wall, closed borders, and simply not talking to our enemies. I can understand those reasons from people, even if they are misguided and are wearing a large sign on their foreheads showing how lazy a person can be with their thinking. What I cannot understand is someone voting for Trump just because they do not like Hillary.

A short story about a man I spoke to the other day. I called person I know who is a 53-year-old, white, medical doctor, a husband, and a father to four children. I have known him since I was 18 through a medical program I was in. Even though he is not a friend of mine or someone I would socially hang out with, I have kept him as a talking “buddy” in order to watch, listen, and learn how an extremely opposing view is because I believe that being around people who are completely different than I am makes me a stronger / wiser person. I called and during the conversation I said to him, “So .. you going to vote for Trump, for real?” He responded, “You’re damn right! For no other reason than to keep that bitch out of office!!” This simple statement shows: 1. He has no real reason for voting Trump, and 2. He just called a woman “bitch” for no reason either. This is a mentality that is not easily changed and is caused by the environment, upbringing, and social status. His parents are also Republican and that is how he was raised, all of his friends are Republican because his friends are his church buddies, and he is wealthy with an extremely entitled attitude about that.

This person does make over 15k per month and he likes to talk about his money often. He even likes to go to the cheapest, dirtiest bar in town in order to impress those people with buying rounds. He once said to me, “I go there because just walking in there makes me feel like a millionaire.” He has also said about the people in the bar, “I love it when I sit next to one of them. It makes me look really good, and I am pretty damn good already.” He loves to talk about his church and how active he is in it. He loves to chatter on and on about Jesus and how well he knows the Bible. But here are some things he does not like to discuss: His involvement in at least eight abortions from mistresses he has had throughout the last 20 years. The issue he had with a prostitute from Saint Louis, Missouri blackmailing him for money because she had his child. He does not like to discuss the untimely death of that 19-year-old prostitute, and the denial of that child being his. He does not like to talk about his ads on personal dating sites, his fake ID in order to be “approved” for escort services, his trip to Las Vegas where he had sex with an underage black hooker, and he really doesn’t like to discuss his alcoholism. He also doesn’t bring up too often the four mistresses he currently has – all ranging from 18 years of age to 35 years of age – nor does he find humor when these women cause him issues at home with his wife. All of these things he has told me, I have witnessed, or he has told me whilst crying.

Now, this man is not voting for Trump because he wants to keep Hillary out. He is voting for Trump because he wants to be like him. He admires how Trump pays for women, how Trump is entitled, and how Trump gets away with it. He relates to Trump on a personal level.

People who support Trump are not doing it out of spite because Hillary is running. They are doing it because on some level, they too are repressed, racist, sexist, chauvinistic, ignorant assholes. They have a spokesperson now. They are not voting for Trump because he will make a good President. They are not voting for Trump because his policies are the best ever. And they are certainly not voting for Trump because he is a good-values family man.

Many Trump supporters have the same mindset. For example, they will say and/or do absurd things, then they are called out or exposed for the crazy shit they are doing, and then they demand an apology for being exposed for something they did. “They are being mean to me” is a common phrase along with, “This is rigged.” They can never accept responsibility for their actions, unless there is a good outcome, and they can never understand that they are not the best person for a job. They are severely sore losers who cannot even try to comprehend that not all people want what they want out of life. They do not understand that Black Americans, women, Chinese Americans, or any other minority may have issues with gainful employment because of the environment. They do not understand that just because they have done well or because they have a job why other people cannot do exactly as they have done in life.

These supporters are either: Military brainwashed, really rich, really ignorant, or really religious. Those last two categories are redundant in most, if not all, cases. In any case, these are people who are worried about themselves, not the entire country as a whole. Because if they were truly worried about the country as a whole, then they would be more worried about Trump’s “best economic policy ever” that will literally add trillions to the current debt.

Loretta and Bill
Took a poison pill

They both tossed it back
While on the tarmac.

And, while it went down,
Like a silly clown,

They tiptoed aboard
Her plane, thereby moored.

Thermometers there
Revealed hell-hot air,

So they, don’t you see,
Required A.C.

Agendas, they say,
Were not there in play.

If not, wonder I,
Then, why pretend-fly?

A Martian on leave
Could see up that sleeve.

They say ‘twas about
Grand kids and Bill’s gout.

Well, then, whoop-dee-doo,
I’m good -- How ‘bout you?

Bill gave her a boost
When he ruled the roost.

But, this ain’t that day,
So wy’d she not say,

“Bill, get off my plane!
“Can’t you see the pain,

“When this thing gets out?
“The hue and the shout

“Will wake sleeping heads,
“That which one most dreads

“Will become a ‘thing’ –
“The angels will sing;

“The devils will drool.
“You ain’t seen such ‘cruel’!

“The damage is there,
“Ergo, life ain’t fair.

“You lied once before –
“And, I ain’t your whore!

“But, screwed am I now,
“For this fake pow-wow!”

Bet Hillary’s pissed! --
“Oh, how I insist

“That you damned stuffed bear
“Take caution and care;

“Try not to ignite
“Bright flares in our night.

“The damage is done, “You son-of-a-gun!”

The trouble with this
Vinegar and piss,

Whatever was said,
Can all-ways be read.

Loretta now says.
“I’m clean; here’s my ‘res’.”

But, it ain’t you, girl;
You’re caught in a swirl.

Some pills are dang’rous,
Poisonous for us.

Bill Clinton’s a pill,
And, girl, you’re now ill!

There is a psycho in a triangle.
From spike to spike he goes.
With a cable show at each angle,
The psycho’s eyes don’t close.

It’s a pity for the poor creature --
The polls have trapped him in.
Balanced thought is not his best feature –
Inartful, he did win.

No one knew he really is mental;
They all were sure he’d change.
The babble, basically, seemed gentle,
Seemed not apt to derange.

The triangle’s busy three corners
Entrap did this poor wretch.
They act, now, like poorly paid mourners:
A tear, then a kvetch.

One corner contains the enablers;
With him, they find no fault.
They are the inventive fablers,
The always self-right-alt.

Another sharp corner opposes,
With little balanced light.
They set about with chains and hoses
To bash down all that might.

The referees comprise the last notch –
Brave Goldilocks are they.
It’s somewhat like the game of hopscotch –
A jumpy kind of play.

And so, ensconced in hat three-cornered,
The psycho thus remains,
A real-life, Little Jackie Hornered –
Almost, but with less brains.

Stars and Stripes, in all its glory --
And even mud-splashed, too -
Never, in all its annals hoary,
Has seen this sad to-do.

Waiting for the main banner-bearer,
Idle, there in the rain,
It thinks of past days that were fairer –
Pipes and drums, and less pain.

The bearer, though, is trapped in triple
Cells of mental anguish.
His lips are locked upon the nipple –
A TV club sandwich.

Despite it all, hang on, Old Glory!
You’ve seen ‘em come and go.
Soon enough, you will tell the story:
How Sam sustained the blow.

The triangle will change it structure;
The flag won’t be forlorn’
The Shining Seas still will be azure –
And the psycho will be gone!