resume

Dear Mr. Trump,

It has occurred to me that when you are elected president there will be a gap in your company. You will be in need of an executive to run your corporation. Please accept this letter as my resume for consideration for the position of President, The Trump Organization . I am sure you will find that I have the right qualifications for the job. Number one – I am a nice person. I give a lot of money away, to charities and other things. I think I'm a very nice person.  I am also a mom and I have the ability to say, "Go to time out.", in a very loud and obnoxious tone. This is very similar to "You're fired." 

You have never been in politics and I have never run a business but as you do not seem concerned by that I am sure you won't mind someone such as myself with no experience running your corporation. I will simply learn how to do it. I will hire people. I will know the difference between absorbed costs and hidden assets or reserve when it's "appropriate". I will "know far more" about these issues "within 24 hours" of being hired.

As an artist  I am very good making stuff. I'm good at it, it's what I do so if we need bridges or roads, I will build great, great infrastructure. And they will be great because nobody does infrastructure better than me. I am very adept at using spray paint to enhance my artwork and would have no trouble emblazing all infrastructure with gold spray painted "Trump" on these projects. I will build bridges and roads very inexpensively. In the event that I do not know how to build a bridge, I will hire people. I know a lot of people and I am good at hiring people. I will have immigrants pay for that bridge. They will have to come in through a big fat door into the country, but they have to come in legally with their wallets. Not only do I have a great relationship with the immigrants. I've always had a great relationship with all minorities. My plan is to have so many websites that will show my great work on bridges. You will see them when you are in the Oval Office. Everyone will see them and know that I am doing great work. I won't have to hire people who will do a website that only costs three dollars because I will make them for one dollar. Not only am I good at websites, I am even better at twitter. My twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.

bridges

You will be happy to know that I copyrighted the line 'Make America great again,' the phrase, that was mine, I came up with it about a year ago, and I kept using it, and everybody's using it, they are all loving it. So you don't have to worry that you should have copyrighted it, because I will allow The Trump Organization exclusive rights to the phrase. Some may say Reagan said it first but it was really me.

great

Unlike so many executives today who are all talk and no action I am not. I will bring The Trump Organization — believe me — to the highest stock options. You can be sure I will beat all the other corporations all time. I will be the worst thing that's ever happened to rival corporations. With my skills I will be the greatest jobs creator that God ever created. Just like the Republicans have been promising. I will deliver on that, unlike the Republicans.

Sadly I too have watched The American Dream die. And I agree with you, The American Dream is dead. But if you get elected president and I run The Trump Organization, together we will bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before and we will make America great again. I know I can do this because I am very talented and smart. I'm very smart. You are very rich and I am very smart. You won't have to worry about me needing to apologize about the job I do. Apologizing's a great thing, but you have to be wrong. So if I am ever wrong, which I won't be I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future.

dream

"I read the resumes of the other people, and they say the sun will rise, the moon will set, all sorts of wonderful things will happen, and I am are thinking, 'What is going on? I just want a job.' I am a great writer and I will write great articles about The Trump Organization and everyone will know how great it is. With me as your president The Trump Organization is going to be amazingly constructive."

Also, my husband is very sexy and I have pictures of him on a bear skin rug. He will be the greatest host at the convention I plan for The Trump Organization when Forbes announces it is the best organization in America. With you as president and me as your CEO people love us. And you know what, we will be very successful. Everybody will love us.  

 

Deborah Baron

Deborah Baron

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