UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Are you both ready for this conference call?

TWO VOICES, SIMULTANEOUSLY: Yes.

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Then, we are agreed that no one called anyone, correct?

TWO VOICES, SIMULTANEOUSLY: Correct.

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Fine. I leave you to your own devices.

BILL: Hi, Donald. What a coincidence...

DONALD: Coincidence, my ass, you big faker. What are you up to?

BILL: Me? Wh'ah, I haven't the slightest idea what you're talkin' about.

DONALD: OK, let's cut the shit and get down to business.

BILL: All right. Our operatives have explained the agenda to both of us. So, what's your problem?

DONALD: I don't know, Bill...I'm torn...

BILL: That's a bunch of crap. You've never been torn about anything. What's the real problem?

DONALD: Well, you know, Bill; I've been playin' around about running forever; but it's all been a big game. It gets my name out there, and gives me – you know – a little boost.

BILL: You mean I could start my egomobile by sticking a cable up your ass, right?

DONALD: That's a bit crude...

BILL: Crude, MY ass! You see the field so crowded with clueless Munchkins, and you think you can take all of 'em. Right?

DONALD: Right – but, if I'm wrong...?

BILL: That's politics, Baby.

DONALD: Come on, Bill; you can be more nuanced than that.

BILL: Look, Donald, you do realize that, even if you do get the nomination, that's the end of the line?

DONALD: What do you mean?

BILL: Have you forgotten about the general election?

DONALD: Yeah, well, that's a given – nobody on our side ever expected to beat her, anyhow.

BILL: Don't speak for the others, Donald. In politics you don't discount anything. Remember 2008? There are a few serious candidates in that bunch who could give Hillary a good run.

DONALD: But, I ain't one of 'em, your're sayin'?

BILL: Right! Only because you haven't prepared yourself...and under these circumstances –not a snowballs chance...

DONALD: OK, OK – but you are sayin' I could take the primary, right? 'Cause, I'm tired of playin' around. If I go in this time, I'm serious! Whaddaya say?

BILL: Hmmm. Well, you'd have to go gonzo on 'em. Start out with a big bang, no quarter – take no pity on any of 'em. You'd have to be slash and burn from the very start. That constituency is ready for a good swashbuckler. I suspect that would bring the numbers up right away. You'd have to keep the pressure on. If this fantasy works, and you can get up to 20 before the first debate, I think you'd have a good chance of goin' all the way.

DONALD: Wow! That sounds encouraging. But, I don't have an organization or anything – and I would have to make an announcement right away. What about the enthusiastic crowds, and all?

BILL: Well, Ted Cruz got a university to call a must-attend assembly. All you'd have t'do is stick yaw hand in yaw pocket.

DONALD: Wait – I'm beginnin' to see it! I descend majestically from an escalator in the Trump Tower. Waiting are all the adoring crowds that money can buy... Bill, you're a freakin' genius!

BILL: Ego and Filthy Lucre can kick Genius's ass any day.

DONALD: OK, OK, I'm on! See you on the campaign trail.

BILL: Lots of luck – until November of next year.

DONALD: Yeah, I get it. But, look – we never talked...

BILL: (Speaking to an aide): I thought you said there was a conference call on this line...-- Musta loss the signal...