Judge Pirro at CPAC

Surfing high upon a Trumpian curl of, “America Made Greatness,” speakers at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) were understandably gleeful. One particular speaker, intentionally or not, managed to unveil a usually subdued aspect of extreme right-wing thought. Judge Jeanine Pirro evoked spasms of raucous approval when she suggested that there should be a contemporary America that would be recognizable to the Founders. Apparently missing the obvious incongruity of her title in that suggestion, the judge tossed up other incongruities, as well:

• There would be no judges of her sex. Titles for her would be limited to the confines of the home. Not even a genteel Abigail Adams plea was taken seriously by herself or John Adams. It would be four score and seven – plus another score of years into the following century – before she would have been able to claim the voting franchise.

• If her family did not own property, in most states the political status of her male relatives would not have been much different from hers.

• If her vowel-ending surname were indicative of her ethnicity, her family probably would not have arrived until long after the demise of the last Revolutionary.

• The last president from the Revolutionary Age destroyed and reshuffled the living status of a large portion of the Native American population, to a point where it would not have been recognizable to any of Andrew Jackson’s elders.

• It gets tricky when it comes to the human chattel the Founders failed to mention, outright, in the Constitution. Now, that part of her suggestion makes sense. The Founders could go on pretending that African Americans were not there.

So, there you are, Judge. You are almost home with this time-shift recognition idea of yours. The chains have disappeared; now, do you really want to strain the time-space continuum in order to complete the rest of your misbegotten fantasy? I thought not!

***** ***** *****

Once, there was a judge named, “Pirro –
Not an American hero.
She conjured up lies,
In stacks, like cow-pies.
Truthfully, they came to zero.

Curtis W. Long

Curtis W. Long

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