My muse

ME: Hello.
MUSE: Hi, sorry I haven’t checked in lately.

ME: Yeah, I was wondering why you were not sending me copy.. Where are you?
MUSE: I’m in my bomb shelter.

ME: You’re in a bomb shelter?!
MUSE: Yeah

ME: What’s that all about?
MUSE: Have your senses gone numb? Aren’t you aware there is a lunatic in the White House?

ME: I know you are more sentient than I, but what’s that got to do with that pompous ass in Washington?
MUSE: “Sentient,” my ass! All you have to do is keep up with the news! That must be your problem; it must be too fast for mere mortals to absorb.

ME: Speaking of mortals, et al, why the hell do you need a bomb shelter, anyway?
MUSE: I am an earth-bound spirit. When the world disintegrates, I will need transport to another planet.

ME: Hold on! What’s all this talk about the world blowing up?
MUSE: As I said, you obviously are not paying attention. It’s hardly been three weeks, and that would-be Narcissus has offended and/or threatened the most important countries on the globe – including USA’s longtime allies!

ME: Yeah, but they know it’s just, “The Donald,” doing his thing.
MUSE: They don’t know from any, “The Donald.” All they know is that they must respond to pronouncements from the leader of the most potent nation in the history of mankind!

ME: But, the Congress can assure them that our values remain intact.
MUSE: Are you kidding? All of their genitals are in his clutches. The nuclear codes are in his possession, and he shows the inclination to play around with the “Football.”

ME: But, he wouldn’t, really...
MUSE: Tell that to a world who knows that he heads the only country who has used The Bomb in war.

ME: I think you are exaggerating the situation.
MUSE: Taking into account that we are less than a month into his presidency, I find my assessment rather conservative.

ME: Conservative?
MUSE: Yes. He has managed to abort the visit of the head of state and insult the intelligence of your southern neighbor and third important trading partner – as well as threaten a General Pershing-style incursion to tame the, “Bad hombres”!

ME: True; but the Mexicans find him to be a big joke.
MUSE: “Ha-ha,” yes; but in the meantime, they are planning their own Pacific trading partnership and the people are deciding which American businesses to boycott.

ME: It’s gonna be tough on those denizens of Mexico City’s Pink Zone to go without their daily Starbuck’s fix.
MUSE: Then, there is Vladimir Putin. Believe me; he’s got a helluva lot more on him than that incontinent troika of female Petruskas.

ME: Incontinent what...?
MUSE: After stealing Crimea, downing a passenger jet in Ukraine, and continuing to foment mischief therein, your incredibly ignorant leader cannot bring himself to find fault with the Bully Bear.

ME: “Bully...”?
MUSE: And all the while he denigrates NATO, the great Euro-American bulwark that was invented precisely to stave off those Putinesqe Pinzer appropriations.

ME: “Pinzer” what?
MUSE: Then, there is his monumental, misbegotten attempt to satisfy an anti-Muslim promise made to that aptly dubbed, “Basket of Deplorables.” He is now feeling the full weight of that third force of government that he so foolishly disrespects.

ME: So, that’s what’s keeping you in the shelter?
MUSE: That and the fact that he is now nudging Israel to do a Syria-like move on Iranian missile site sites – and sabotage the nuclear agreement, as well.

ME: You’ve almost got me convinced to start digging.
MUSE: Don’t be silly; a shelter will do your mortal ass no good.

ME: What do you mean?
MUSE: While I’m on my way to Pluto, or wherever, your atoms, along with those of everything else on earth, will be converted into their pre-Big Bang posture.

ME: How can we avoid that?
MUSE: By converting your problem into its pre-Big Mouth posture!

Trump nuclear bomb

Curtis W. Long

Curtis W. Long

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