drunk elephant Rrose Rigden

In the 1945 movie, “The Lost Weekend,” the Ray Milland character, in his quest to overcome alcoholism by going “cold-turkey,” is driven to search overhead light fixtures for bottles of booze he had squirreled away “for the winter.” The condition is known as, “the *DTs” (delirium tremens). The GOP, however, is saddled with a new form of the DTs – “Donald Trumpism.”

With their party being hijacked by a soulless outsider, the Republicans seemed to be holding their breath, hoping to reach the convention before the repulsive intruder reached the magic number of no-return. They failed; and are now in a limbo-tizzy of having to genuflect to the invader or hightail it out of the door. In either case, they have lost control of their party. Had they been able to lure the beast into the convention sans the 1237 first-ballot clincher, they would have been able to plan some sort of nasty maneuver that would have denied him the candidacy, and thus force him to “go independent,” withal of his fanatical followers. They probably would have lost the election, but would have retained their Republican soul.

The, “Never-Trumpists” are in a quandary. The holdouts surreptitiously are led by the cagey Paul Ryan. They rack their brains trying to figure a way out of the dilemma. Bill Kristol, curiously, has suggested a third-party, no-name candidate to lead the elephant through, only God knows how many, years of desert-trekking. Others have suggested a mutual hate-throw-down between Romney and Trump. Other heads to be anointed for the sacrifice have been mentioned, but so far, the potential “Goliath” has no “David.” If it is a “Sampson” we are dealing with, where is “Delilah?”

(THE GOP: “Enough, already, with the Biblical references! Can’t you see we’re trying to pray in here?!”)

There is logic in the Republican method of seeking a third way. If they can produce an independent candidate strong enough to draw votes away from Trump, and keep all candidates from attaining the minimum number of Electoral College votes required for election, the process then would be dumped into the House of Representatives for resolution. Who controls the House? Now, House Leader Paul Ryan’s reluctance to jump on the Trump Train is seen with more clarity.

In the midst of both of these historical, internecine wars, within both parties, the Libertarian Party is dancing an obscene “Boogaloo.” For years, they have been on the sidelines, screaming, “Look at me!” The current political revolution provides a real opportunity for them, actually, to be included in the GOP-Demo debates. Their party is registered in all 50 states, and stands at 10% in the national polls. The two major-parties’ debate authority determines the criteria for debate participation. It already has said that a 15% national standing would be sufficient for admittance. That means the Libertarians need add on a mere five points. With the ongoing debacle, that should be a snap.

The Libertarian Party already has chosen it’s presidential and vice presidential candidates. In that order, they are Gary Johnson and William (Bill) Weld. They both are well-seasoned, politically astute, former two-term GOP governors. As the Libertarian candidates in the last elections, they garnered only 5% of the vote. Johnson was governor of New Mexico, has scaled some of the tallest mountains, and formerly owned a business called, “Cannabis Sativa.” He has promised not to “toke up” the Oval Office. Since the Libertarian convention elects the vice presidential candidate, Johnson practically got on his knees to plead for Weld as his running mate. His prayers were answered. These two former GOP governors will provide the Libertarian ticket as an attractive lifeboat for Republican voters who find both Trump and Clinton to be anathemas.

As a very probable bell weather of some GOP thinking in these torrential times, a so far little detected, major defection has taken place in the Republican Party. Mary Matalin has abandoned the GOP in favor of the Libertarian Party! This conservative consultant was a decades-long, iconic staple of the GOP. This is the same Mary Matlin who is a party to one of the weirdest marriages ever. Her husband is James Carville, “The Snake,” “The Ragin’ Cajun” – the Demo political consultant who was very instrumental in helping to put Bill and Hillary into the White House. Matlin flew the GOP coop right after Trump became “Assumptive I.” Curiously, she is not fleeing The Donald, whom she embraces; rather, she took the opportunity to get away from the very things that Trump denounces. She said it was a decision long in the making. The question now is, “How many more Mary Matlins are there?”

***** ***** *****

The DTs were once pinned to drunks.
They now cling to elephant’s’ trunks.
And, thus shall it be
For the G.O.P.,
As it through the long desert clunks.

Curtis W. Long

Curtis W. Long

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