...or at least he used to...
He’d heard that the United States had “In God We Trust” printed right on the currency, so he invested in derivatives. But ever since the American banks looted his account he’s looked for other options.
At first he considered keeping his gold at the Vatican: “If they can protect pedophiles so completely, I figure my assets are safe.”
Then he realized assets starts with A S S.
He now keeps it all in Iceland.
In a related development:
God - 'The Father' is now in bankruptcy and the Pearly Gates are in foreclosure.
The bank issued this statement: “the market for Cherubim and Seraphim is new territory for us, but we are certain we will recoup our investment.”
When Yahweh was asked to comment he said “I intend to start over. No, really, I mean start everything all over. I gave Noah the rainbow sign, no more water, it’s the fire next time.”
Insurance companies immediately responded by saying that all fire is now considered an ‘act of god’ and will no longer be covered.
The good news is that Satan’s job on Wall Street is secure and he will be receiving the biggest bonus of his career. “Harvesting evil souls in the financial district is as easy as taking candy from a baby, although I do enjoy both.”
Originally published as a Note
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