Once upon a time,
In The Land of Dreams,
There evolved a crime,
Which for all time seems,
To moi-même, at least,
One of rare import,
Like a devil's feast,
Far exceeding sport.
Princesses, them all,
Ev'ry nation-sent
To this one, grand hall.
Fortunes there were spent.
Nothing in the world
More important was
The news therefrom hurled –
It was all the buzz.
Each lass with one thought
Midst this swirling sea
Wherein they are caught:
Queen One shall I be.
Yes, I know it's kind
To say nice things 'round.
"Your smart frock I find
Sensible and sound.
"Oh, look over there!
"Isn't that one smart,
"How she does her hair? –
"A doll, like in K-MART."
Thus it is 'mongst all
These potential queens;
Hoping for the fall
Of the other's jeans.
Now the tests are done –
All is in suspense.
There is only one,
Now, who'll leap the fence.
All the judges have
Promptly marked their cards.
There exists no salve
For the loser's hearts.
Big Nig grabs the mike –
Clearly out of place –
Like an unschooled tyke,
Shaming all his race.
Niggah, can't you read?
After all this time,
What a dumb-ass deed,
What a stupid crime!
All Colombia's wild;
There princess has won!
Now, they are beguiled;
Where'd I leave my gun?!
Filipinos shout,
Now, that makes more sense!
Just like Pacquiao,
We "Flips" leave our dents.
To close this sad tale,
Played live on T-V,
Of all M.C's, bail! --
On that one -- Steve Har-vee!!!
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